Am I Stupid or Am I Profound?

I genuinely can’t tell. I think the answer is simply “yes” but I really wish I knew where I sat on the enlightenment scale!

I feel like me articulating that there’s a scale of enlightenment is a good sign, right? But is it a scale or more so a wheel? Because have you ever had an ego death so significant that you looped back around and found yourself judging other people for not having their ego death yet? (and of course you don’t know whether they have or haven’t- it’s your own ego placing yourself above them and coming up with that assumption) then suddenly you’re chalk-full-of-ego all over again! What an embarrassing behavior to clock in oneself! But an important one to recognize! And I think it’s how it goes. Ego is like a cat- so many lives. And much like a cat can have a little salami as a treat- I feel like a human being can have a little ego too.

Would I get enlightenment points deducted from wanting to know where I existing on the enlightenment spectrum? I’m calling it a spectrum now (brag). I’m not sure- I suppose I could see an argument for either way. But why are we arguing and why is it “either” as in this or that? Surely there’s more than 2 ways to answer that question!

Am I Stupid or Am I Profound started as what I perceived to be a stupid thought I had one day but it’s become so profound that I haven’t been able to let it go.

It’s become an obsession that I can’t stop procrastinating making really cool art about. Does that sentence make sense? I don’t really like its flow even if it does convey my intended meaning, but I’m not sure how to ask google how to fix it, and ultimately it gets the job done so I’ll move on.

Am I Stupid or Am I Profound is now a vehicle for my blog. Which is sort of genius- because it allows me to kinda say whatever I want without sweating too hard about how I’m being perceived. Because the truth is I don’t know how I’m being perceived. And I don’t know if that not knowing is common for people, or if generally they have a good sense of how others view them. And if they do, do they? Or is that their own narrative that they choose to believe? I’ve never been good at discerning whether or not people like me. I used to go so far as to assume they didn’t, and then project that insecurity onto them, which wasn’t a fair way to behave. But I think with time I am at least getting more comfortable with the idea of not letting that fear and uncertainty hold me back or dictate how I show up in the world. I feel comfortable taking this leap with the safety net of “Am I Stupid or Am I Profound” here to catch me.

Am I Stupid or Am I Profound is my groovy little hermit crab shell decorated with tropical designs. So funky and fun and she keeps me safe.

It’s the clear bubble umbrella that I always wanted as a kid that will let me stand under a shield and look straight up at the raindrops falling down without having to worry about if any droplets will fall into my eyes.

I get to make art and be curious and write and think silly thoughts! And you can join me if that sounds fun! There’s no set cadence. No real themes, I’ll try my best to not get super preachy if I can help it. That’s about all I can promise. There will sometimes be artwork for sale that’s blog-post-centric- but maybe not all the time. Tangents are to be expected and celebrated. This is a journey that I’m excited to finally be taking the leap to begin, and that all feels pretty profound to me (brag).